Wednesday, January 16, 2008

pincement

Cette nuit j'ai rêvée
que j'ai découpé un pansement,
les bouts biseautés...

J'ai mis de la bombe de colle
et je l'ai collé sur mon plexus solaire.



*
pour le Marquis-Noir




Thursday, January 10, 2008

fiery kisses

Le Marquis-Noir orders me to stand against the cross, after first making me sit on the bench with the dildo. For the first time, I receive the martinet.

///
I stand against the cross, my head nestled in my arms. He starts to whip me lightly with the martinet when Ôda comes to get him as he's needed upstairs.
She takes over.
The first hard lash makes me say "Aïe !"
She replies : Comment ça, "aïe" ?

I had arrived late mostly after the fun was over, the tension from work still present in my mind. At the bar, she had asked me what mood I was in, if I wanted to play ... a man or a woman ? More in the mood for a man.
Mast'Her comes by & plays with me lightly, thinking he has some time for me, so we go to the back.
He puts a condom on the black dildo & attaches my wrists to the ceiling, orders me to sit on it, in my ass ... black intensity as I slide down, sitting on it not so comfortably as he lightly whips my tits.
I wriggle my wrists out of the straps, holding on to them instead — not rebellious, just disobedient. He sees that this scene isn't working for me, so we switch to the cross instead. He lifts up my skirt & I lean into my arms raised above my head.

Like I said : "Aïe" !
I shut my eyes, happy to receive... how strange now that it should be Ôda instead. Closing out the people gathered to watch. She whips, the tips of the martinet grazing me & I realize that it's the ones that barely strike that hurt the most.
She whips my pussy lightly. i wiggle a bit, as my feet hurt, so she allows me to take off my shoes.
I settle into my arms as I feel the different strokes & after awhile it's all tingly & warm.
Then the intensity increases, some heavy blows on my thighs & ass, then light touches over my back to my ass & my pussy.
I rock sensuously into the martinet as it strikes my pussy, some strands hitting my abdomen from below, hurting more than those on my pussy. The music briefly flows thru me as I delve into my awareness of every sound, every touch, where it hits, over & over.
A flurry of light fiery kisses & a gust of wind ... I suspect that this increase in intensity has been at the hand of my Mast'Her. Even though I'm curious, I don't turn around to look, only go into the feeling as I feel more peaceful & floating.
Until one strong blow on my thigh makes me react, leaving a trail of bruises over my hip at the crease of my thigh, as I ease the pain with my hand.
Ôda asks if I want to stop. "Peut-être, un peu, " I reply, but I could have stayed longer.
I thank her, kissing her on the cheek.
— Je me sens apaisée.
— Je crois que ça t'a fait du bien. Je le vois dans tes yeux. Tu es résistante.

Afterwards, I'm very inward & quiet, a light trembling under my skin like a light vibration that continues all thru dinner.

I wonder how it was for each of them.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

consciousness

Sometimes I think that I'm less spiritual than when I was younger, but perhaps it's because I've been exploring my darker side. Sometimes I think about contacting my guide — but my guide is always present, & I think my guide is very much like me. Perhaps my guide is me.
I believe in consciousness & light — intelligent consciousness & the energy of light. If I transcend the body, then what is this consciousness inside ?
When I think of the fabric of the universe from the infinitely small to the infinitely grand, I know that this consciousness is never lost. The matter & energy may be transformed & evolved, but it doesn't disappear.
When I think of human intelligence, of all the amazing things we have created , from the first person who sprayed their hand on a cave, to whoever first cooked an egg, to all the civilizations & beauty, to the fantastic technology in which we live, I know that this consciousness never dies.
If only those who focus on destruction & killing, if only this energy was turned around, just think of the wondrous life we would have.